Why has it taken 49 years to be able to say WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALLL ABOUT? I have been a worrier my whole life. I have spent time over the years developing skills/hacks to deal with the after affects of worry as in heart racing, palpitations, hot flushes, not sleeping, etc. Life turns up all kinds of obstacles and I am sure everyone at some stage has suffered with this infliction but I am talking to those of you that have taken it to the next level .
The 10 year old me worried in bed in case I forgot to worry about something! I am not saying I didn't have cause to worry. My parents were going through a separation and back then it was not the norm but my brain analysed every avenue of WHAT IF. I tried to make sense of my emotions, I came up with worst case scenarios and would play them out to see if I would survive the outcome (WHAT THE HELL).
That trend has followed me my whole life, be strong, don't worry, deal with situations rationally, look at each possible outcome and box it off as sorted. The trend here is never letting myself go, never breaking down and just saying outload I need a shoulder to lean on.
Everyone needs to scream outload and say IM NOT OK at times. A hug from a loved one, a feeling of being supported no matter what the outcome is a very powerful tool in the fight against the chaos that is going own internally.
My daughter once broke down and asked me to "take out her brain and wash it". Unknow to her she had already understood that her brain was firing in all different directions, that she needed help to sort it out and that she needed to shout it out I'm not ok. I gave her a sheet of paper and a pen and told her to mind map. Put herself in the middle and draw lines coming out with headings such as school, friends, family, etc. Write the first thing that comes to mind without thinking about it. It revealed a lot.
That statement I'm not ok is actually the first step in becoming ok. It is so important to let go and not feel I should be coping, I am being ridiculous, other people cope just fine (DO They).
As children we learn to pick ourselves up after a fall and shrug it off, we learn to get on with things and not look back. Older generations make statements like "you will be alright before you are trice married!" Clearly unresolved issues come to the surface at some stage, they shape our characters and personalities.
The most important gift a parent can give their child is an open ear and a set of tools to be able to cope with situations as their world starts to become smaller. Remember when you see someone worrying do not make a statement saying DON'T WORRY. Its quiet ridiculous when you think about it. If it was that easy to stop worrying people would not spend a life consumed by worry!
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